(God-Wrestler)

This weekend is the 2nd anniversary of a major turning point in my life. It was a major turning point because it was the first of a sequence of events that just really threw me for a loop. It spun me off in directions I never thought I would have gone. Two years ago this weekend I broke my ankle playing a pick up game of baseball.

I never intended on playing that day but they were short players so I said why not. The game was fun even though we were losing. Then in the eighth inning I made the mistake of trying to slide, and here is the result of that.

The Noticer
By: Andy Andrews

I saw the description for this book and decided to give it a go. I have never read anything by Andy Andrews before and I have never heard him speak before. I knew nothing about his writing, his life, or why this book was getting so much hype. So I sat down at work and began to read this book. (I was allowed to read all I wanted at work since I was a night auditor at a hotel.) Before I knew it I was completely wrapped up in this wonderful story.

Every page turned added new insight to my life and kept me wanting to know more about the way one man could make such a big difference just by paying attention to those around him. The Noticer takes you through lives of people touched and changed in the most radical, yet simple, way I have ever heard of. An old man giving new perspective an advice by simply breaking people's lives down to the basics. He takes out the complicated mess and provides a birds eye view.

This book, The Noticer, by Andy Andrews will entertain you and keep you wanting more. Then it will make you sit back and take a new perspective on your life all by looking at it in a simple way. It's a short and fast read that will not leave you disappointed.

Andy Andrews has also launched a project based off this new book, The Noticer Project. This project encourages you to reach out to the 5 most influential people in your life. It's not asking you to present a grand gesture to these people but in some way thank them for how they have influenced you. You can find more about the project here http://www.thenoticerproject.com/.

You can buy The Noticer by: Andy Andrews here.

On Twitter follow @AndyAndrews, @NoticerProject, and @Clyderandall

Coffee has become such a cultural icon for today. If your successful, prosperous, well liked, or cool you drink coffee. A long time ago coffee was a drink for the ordinary man. The man who worked hard, played hard, and needed a cheap pick me up to get up in the morning. Now coffee is found in corner boutique like shops and you spend as much for a cup of coffee as you used to for a pound.

People have become coffee snobs. A cup of joe is just not good enough anymore. I spent a month working the office for a Young Life camp and had the responsibility of being the town runner. My job was to fulfill the needs of the camp and campers by running errands in town for them. Our camp medic would have me make a special trip in a different part of town to get him this special locally grown coffee. Starbucks coffee from Walmart wasn't even good enough for him. Why? Now I understand that coffee has degrees of quality to it but seriously.

You have your;

• 1 Filter Coffee
• 2 Espresso
• 3 Coffee with milk
• 4 Cafe mocha
• 5 Cappuccino
• 6 Frappuccino
• 7 Mochasippi
• 8 Cortado
• 9 Macchiato
• 10 Affogato
• 11 Liqueur coffee
• 12 Cafe Americano
• 13 Flat white
• 14 Galão
• 15 Greek frappé coffee
• 16 Indian filter coffee
• 17 Yuanyang
• 18 Ca phe sua da
• 19 Iced coffee
• 20 Instant coffee

On top of all of these different types people spend immense amounts of time adding to their coffee so its just right. You got to add your sugar/sweetener, cream or milk. Then its one pack or five packs and has to be stirred so many times. There are also the people who want their coffee fresh but then add ice because its too hot. Is the drink really worth all this work?


What happened that coffee became this fad? Now maybe I'm biased because I don't drink coffee, but I missed the days where a plain old cup of joe was acceptable. As for me, just give me a nice refreshing Coca-Cola for my caffeine fix. 

What would you do if you could do what ever you really wanted right now? What would you change or try to do differently? I have been asking myself this alot lately to try and really focus on what goals I have and how to work towards them. Here is the conclusion that I have come to. 

If I could do what I really want to do right now, it would be to go to grad school. I really have a strong desire to go back to school for my masters. The next question is a masters in what. I have gone back and forth on this and its down to two choices. First choice would be a masters in divinity. My second choice would be a masters in some type of counseling, like to be a high school counselor. So if this is what I really want to do then why don't I go do it. 

Well I have run into some problems. First problem is that I have no idea how I could pay for it. I took out more loans for my undergrad than I would have liked and I dont want to have to take out more for my masters. Then well my lets just say that my final gpa wasn't too wonderful. It was way better than I needed to graduate but still not good enough for the programs I'm interested in.

So where do I go from here is the next question. What do I have to do so I can do what I want to do? I don't know. I just felt like ranting a little. If you would of told me this is what my life would look like almost at age 25 back in high school. I would have laughed so hard at you. I guess thats life and how God works in his time and not my time.

Here is the camp video from my senior year. I didn't even know I had this video till the other day. I can't believe how old I am now.

I was watching TV last night and the show I was watching closed with this song. "Someone to Watch Over Me" done by Frank Sinatra. Now I have heard this song so many times for some reason this time I actually got the lyrics to it. I just loved it.

Here is my reflections on what I am thankful for:

1.  The relentless, all forgiving, always there when I need it; Love from God
2.  My friends, I honestly don't know how I am so blessed with so many good friends. I really don't know where I would be with out them.
3.  My family, that they love me so much and support me in all I do.
4.  Young Life, that I get to share in the ministry and how it made a difference in my life.
5.  My pets, they love me so much, the can always make me smile and I never feel alone with them.
6.  My toys, keeps me busy and gives me things to do.

So I haven't been in the mood or really wanting to write anything lately. I feel like all the creative juice has just been sucked out of me. If you weren't aware I actually have a job now. Well its a job in the fact that they pay me for being there. I took the night auditor position at Forest Park Suites. If you can't tell i'm not the least bit excited about this except for the fact that i will actually be bringing some income in.

I had so many dreams, desires, and ambitions. They all seemed to fly out the window when i started working here. This is not what i had in mind at all and well it has sunk me into a reality that i never saw coming. I would venture to say that i am depressed. Well as depressed as my personality will let me be. There is nothing happy about this job, but I am trying to learn the joy that this job can offer me. I know God has to be using this situation in my life for something, I guess i was hoping that i was past this learning phase of my life.

I was hoping that I would be doing something that I found meaningful. I know that I do many meaningful things through young life and sharing my life with others but I just wanted my job to also have a greater purpose than just taking people's money and printing useless reports.

I don't know what more to say, I'm tired of saying it. Just pray for me that God gives me peace with this job or leads me to something new.

Well Darren tagged me awhile ago and i'm just now getting around to doing this. So here it goes, six random things about me.

1. I can't whistle! I've tried to learn ever since i was young and have never been able to do it. I have always thought to myself that i would never be able to make it as an actor or be good at music stuff because i can't whistle.

2. Breaking my leg has to the most embarrassing moment in my life. I never really had an embarrassing moment until then. Some would say its tragic but for me its pure embarrassment.

3. Like Janet Jackson i once had a wordrobe malfunction. It was my freshman year at NW i was in the play murderers in the heir and there was a scene where we all had to wear pjs. I had on pjs with an open fly like no zip or buttons and then boxers that were the same. Lets just say i felt a breeze... then a few years later my junior year in the show Anything goes, i split my pants during a scene. YEah gotta love drama.

4. I am terrified of heights, but not being up high but the idea of heights. Once i'm up high and on a stable thing i'm good, i can look around up and down. However the moment you ask we to jump from up high or do something crazy from up high my heart just flutters. I also believe that the ropes at camp won't hold my weight and that freaks me out more than the heights.

5. I hate being naked. I can't stand it. Taking a shower is the only time I'm comfortable being naked.

6. I am nervous about finding a job. I have never been nervous about that before, but now is not a job its a career and I'm scared that my education wasn't good enough for me to do the jobs i want to do.

There you go....

I Tag:
Allison Foster
Morgan Berry
Michelle Bailey
Lauren Mae
Brandon Schnieder
Mike Stecher

Rules: You need to list 6 random things about yourself on your blog (or mine if you don't have one) and tag six more people. No pressure though. This isn't one of those ridiculous chain letters

Well I will say that my last semester in college was by far my best. I finished with 3 A's and 3 B's. A 3.5 gpa for the semester. WOW I am proud of myself and on top of that I had 18 hours of classes compared to the 12 I usually took.

The question is now what do I do.

maybe its time to write my book...

I wake up in the morning... I tell myself that God loves me.... That God adores me... That i need to live up to what i have already attained. I have already attained my salvation, God's love, and Faith.

Then and only then my day begins.

Throughout the day I want my efforts to shine like this.

2 Peter 1:5-11
5For this very reason, make every effort to add to your faith goodness; and to goodness, knowledge; 6and to knowledge, self-control; and to self-control, perseverance; and to perseverance, godliness; 7and to godliness, brotherly kindness; and to brotherly kindness, love. 8For if you possess these qualities in increasing measure, they will keep you from being ineffective and unproductive in your knowledge of our Lord Jesus Christ. 9But if anyone does not have them, he is nearsighted and blind, and has forgotten that he has been cleansed from his past sins.

10Therefore, my brothers, be all the more eager to make your calling and election sure. For if you do these things, you will never fall, 11and you will receive a rich welcome into the eternal kingdom of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.

Faith>Goodness>Knowledge>Self-control>Perseverance>Godliness>Brotherly Kindness>LOVE

GOD IS LOVE

A few weeks ago I wrote a post about Fear and Trembling. I discussed my concearns of fearing God and what that really meant for us to fear God. I found an insight on this from Henri Nouwen, an author of many Christian works. Here is what he said;

Letting Go of Our Fear of God

We are afraid of emptiness. Spinoza speaks about our "horror vacui," our horrendous fear of vacancy. We like to occupy-fill up-every empty time and space. We want to be occupied. And if we are not occupied we easily become preoccupied; that is, we fill the empty spaces before we have even reached them. We fill them with our worries, saying, "But what if ..."

It is very hard to allow emptiness to exist in our lives. Emptiness requires a willingness not to be in control, a willingness to let something new and unexpected happen. It requires trust, surrender, and openness to guidance. God wants to dwell in our emptiness. But as long as we are afraid of God and God's actions in our lives, it is unlikely that we will offer our emptiness to God. Let's pray that we can let go of our fear of God and embrace God as the source of all love.

I thought that this was close to what I was trying to say in my last post. We need to learn to accept God as Love, to Love God back, and to share God's Love. If we spend time in fear of God how can we experience this great love that he promises us, and gives us so abundantly.

Now I also believe that sometimes the term fear is used to describe a deep respect for God, His authority, His power, and His control in our lives. However, I believe respect is apart of Love, so loving God and accepting God's love is our sign of respect.

So i have noticed that everyone seems to be in the blogging game these days. I am excited about it. I believe that blogging is a good outlet to vent, ponder, and discuss what is going through our heads. It is a great way for some of us to stay in touch with each other and continue to understand what is going on in each others lives.

In an effort to further our blogging experience and to find more purpose with why we blog, I have started yet another blog. This one though is a collaborative effort from me and a few of my friends. The goal is for this blog to be an open forum for anything all in the hopes that truth will come through discussion.

The blog is www.captiveoutpost.wordpress.com .

Go check it out. Realize though that we just launched this and there isn't really much content on it yet. Check out the about page to see what its all about. :)

If you are interested in maybe joining us send me an email and let me know.

So when do you know when something is true? How do you know when something is true? What is the truth?
Wordnet says that truth is:

a fact that has been verified

conformity to reality or actuality

Sometimes things are just true and you don't have to question it because they just conform to reality, like my car has four wheels. I know this is the truth because when I see my car in reality there are four wheels. I can also verify this truth by using math to count the number of wheels on my car. This truth can't be argued. My car has four wheels.

Now this seems simple, but we can look at our history to realize that truth is more complicated than that. For instance, there was a time when the world was convinced the earth was flat. You can see the land in front of you and behind, sometimes there are hills but overall the world was flat. That argument was never really settled until we were able to see earth from space and the round earth then became reality and our truth was forced to conform.

So from this I find that it is easy to discover the truth when you can take an objective look into what is being debated over as true or false. When trying to decide if the earth was round or flat no one could really prove it. There was evidence of the earth being round and flat but it was hard to really confirm that. Then when we were able to take a look from the outside in, it was like a big DUH moment because you could plainly see the earth was round.

What about deciding if our feelings and emotions are true. For some this isn't an issue, if I feel this then it is reality and it is truth. Others second guess their emotions and believe that they can have false emotions or feelings, because they are there does not necessarily make them true. This internal struggle I believe comes from the fact that we are in our emotions and feelings, like we are in the earth. Until we can come out of our selves and look into our emotions we can not really know the truth behind them.

So how can we truly understand if our feelings are the truth or a false emotion that we are projecting? For myself, I turn to God to help discern the truth of my feelings.
James 1:5
If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him.
I know that God will give the wisdom I need to discern the truth behind my feelings.

I have been really digging through this book by Rob Bell, Velvet Elvis, and I have read some interesting things about what God claims and how we know its true. Rob talks about the writings of Paul in 1 Corinthians, particularly this verse;
1 Corinthians 3:21-23
So then, no more boasting about men! All things are yours, whether Paul or Apollos or Cephas or the world or life or death or the present or the future—all are yours, and you are of Christ, and Christ is of God.
Rob says that Paul is making the claim that truth is every where. God has everything, Christ has God, and we have Christ, therefore we have it all too. The truth of life is all around us and we should recognize that when we see it because we have what God has, and what God has is true.
Rob Bell puts it this way.
"Claim it. "
"If it is true, if it is beautiful, it is is honorable, if it is right, then claim it. Because its is from God. And you belong to God." (Velvet Elvis, pg 79)

This rang true to me. It made sense to me. This is how I want to look at things around me, in me, and that are apart of me. I do not believe it is an exact science, but I agree with how these elements can help me decide if they are of God for me to have.

So I ask myself now. Are these feelings true, beautiful, honorable, or right then I work my way from there to claim.

I say now, that I am claiming these feelings for I find they true, beautiful, honorable, right and of God.

If you only knew
If I could only say
What was really on my heart

How would it be
Where would it go
would the world fall apart

Someday it will
Be known to all
but when will that start




yeah this one is in progress .... it might not go anywhere ... i'm starting to sound like a cheesy.... well some kind of cheesy thing.... oh well another day....

I don't know what to say... I don't want to ruin this... its just all in my head. Maybe I will wake up tomorrow and be different about this. What was that dream about last night... it seemed so real... Is it more than that or is that just what my head does in my sleep. Where are the answers at, when will they come. Its so fragile and in any other place it would be so insignificant. Why do I make such a big deal over things like that. Seriously though, the dream was so real.

It is the day after Thanksgiving and for the first time in a long time that I did not have to work on this day. For the past few years I have had to be at work by 4:00 am to prepare the store for the rush of deal hungry, money spending, customers that have been waiting outside since 10:00 pm the night before.