So starting the new school year I think I've been asked in all my classes "Where do you see yourself in five years?" I smile and give the typical reply, "Oh I hope to be in a career that I love to do, have my own house, and be married to a women that I love." Just like everyone else I give the typical American dream answer.
Deep down though, I know that I have know idea where or what I'm going to be doing in five years. My hopes, dreams, well my prayers for what my life would be like have changed drastically in the last few months. What scares me is that I don't have many dreams for my future now. I wish i could say it is because I've completely surrendered to God and I am along for the ride he has planned for me, but I just don't know where to go from here. Let's see if this makes sense to you, I'm scared that I'm becoming scared of being burned again, of being hurt again, of becoming broken again.
I don't want to be that guy. I don't want to be scared that I can't trust again, that I can't be close again. What is wrong with me i used to be full of ambition. They tell me time will fix this pain. I don't want time to fix it. I want God to fix it. Maybe time is gods way to fix it but my hope in God is more than that.
Psalm 86: 2-3
3 Have mercy on me, O Lord,
for I call to you all day long.
4 Bring joy to your servant,
for to you, O Lord,
I lift up my soul.
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